This is what we were like
This is how voices sound
When they are not yet beset by the crown
Before the weight of that divine ton of bricks
Before the Fates kissed our Powerball picks
Before the labs
Before the scan
Before the fame and scandal that changed the whole game plan
Here’s the shot where I burst
What a day, what a day
What a day that was, that will be
There’s the spot where I stood
When everything changed
For the worse
Changed for good
Before we all pinned regret to our coats
Before that call that ripped our hearts through our throats
Before the labs
Before the scan
Before the fame and scandal that changed the whole game plan
When everything changes our legs are worn out from all the pedaling backwards
Even though we have hand brakes
But we keep spinning ‘em anyway
You still have time, relax
Innocence, in a sense
In a sense you could say
When we help lift that raft
That is the gaffe
That will cost us our backs
Before the Nobel awards got away
Before we learned power chords were passe
Before the labs, before the scan
Before the smear campaign and the shame and the pain
And the fame and scandal that derailed the whole game plan
Lauren London - additional vocals
Copyright 2018 Zach London
I refuse your anti-thumb sucking pledge
Or plane flights without
My Blanky, as I call my blanket
I am riding my Big Wheel off a ledge
But I’m testing out
Testing out, testing out, testing out
As your frames mature
And your features harden
Like Dolly Parton
I’ll stay insecure
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten
I’ll break off an eraser in my nose
And then how about
I just spray some bug spray in my eyes
I’m afraid of a parade of shadows
But I’m testing out
Testing out, testing out, testing out
As you grow and grow
Til you’re bodyguardin’
For Tonya Harding
I’ll stay small and slow
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten
As your tones are changed
Your baritone is startin’
Like Dino Martin
I’ll stay treble-ranged
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten
Lauren London - additional vocals
Copyright 2018 Zach London
Shoes on, coats on
She’s making memories of me saying
Shoes on, coats on
We’re already late
Lifelong memories
Maybe another night
In the dungeon will
Jog your memory
Maybe, still
La la la la la la la
Shoes on, coats on
We’re already late
Lifelong memories
I just want to live
Long enough to see my
Grandchildren put into
Nursing homes and
Forgotten by everyone
That they knew
Another night
In the dungeon will
Jog your memory
Maybe, still
La la la la la la la
Shoes on, coats on
We’re already late
Lifelong memories
Lifelong memories
Lauren London - vocals
Copyright 2018 Zach London
I
II
III
IV
Roman Roman Roman
Roman Roman Roman
Roman Roman Roman
Roman Roman Roman
All right!
All right! All right!
All right! All right!
All right! All right!
Let's take a crack at antiquities and rarities
And harken back to the era of the Pharisees
Want to interact with Bellerophon and Pericles?
Too bad.
They're Greek.
We're Roman
Whoomp, there it is!
Their gods were first
Okay, but ours aren't parodies
Ares and Nereus are just embarrassing hilarities
Hades and Pluto exhibit primarily polarities
And ladies, Juno never parroted Hera. Please!
Comparing these deities
There's substantial disparities
You're reading into
Circumstantial similarities
Of Mercury's and Hermes's
Of Hercules and Heracles
Though apparently Medusa was both
My eyes are up here, boys
Stare at these!
Eros, the seducer, shot arrows that were looser
Than arrows shot by Cupid or Jupiter who was
The the heir apparent of Zeus's, apparently inheriting
A group of stupid excuses for deities so heinous
That we had to make up Janus and retire the Pleiades
So render unto Caesar
Render unto Caesar
Jeez, Louisa
Render unto Orange Julius
The original orange leader
Roman Roman Roman
Though the age is Golden
Keep them goddies Roman
All right
All right! All right!
All right! All right!
Cry "Hear ye's" with fervor
For Ceres and Minerva
My dearies, you deserve a change
From wimpy Olympians
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
Your orgy was projected to at least draw a quorum
I cordially accepted, taking exception to moral decorum
I hope it thwarted your boredom
I heard, of course, it was awesome
But, well, a funny thing happened on the way to the foursome
Pliny. Pliny the Younger.
Pliny the Elder is fine, but the son's a whiney-ass drunkard
Just a drunken failure, just a punk in regalia
Who regaled me with crock until I had to bail on on your bacchanalia
So here's to Roman sandals,
And here's Roman candles,
Cheers to weird Roman baths
And severely queer Roman scandals
We're here, combattin' Vandals
Chatting in Latin, believe us
We'll knock you flat on your back and back to Romulus and Remus
So render unto Caesar
Render unto Caesar
Jeez, Louisa
Render unto Orange Julius
The original orange leader
Roman Roman Roman
Though the age is Golden
Keep them goddies Roman
You guys!
You guys! You guys!
You guys!
On lakeshores in tunics
Let's make wars with Punics
And take scores of eunuchs
As our prize
Cry "Hear ye's" with fervor
For Ceres and Minerva
My dearies, you deserve a change
From wimpy Olympians
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
Based on "Rawhide" by Ned Washington and Dimitri Tiomkin
Lily Carlson - additional vocals
Lauren London - additional vocals
Scarlett London - additional vocals
Erika Sauld - additional vocals
Copyright 2018 Zach London
