Download Song

It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap
‘Cause you’ll never get your fingers into that
No, you’ll never get your fingers into that
It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap
It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap
‘Cause you’ll never get your fingers into that
No, you’ll never get your fingers into that
It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap

There’s a wormhole
In the center of a cinnamon roll
In the cen- cen- center of a cinnamon roll
In the center of a cinnamon roll
And at escape velocity, crisscross the frosting
Tossed across from pole to pole
In the cen- cen- center of a cinnamon roll
In the center of a cinnamon roll

And all the oldsters stir the pot
And all jesters stir the pot
The pretty monsters stir the pot
Come on, I want to stir the pot

And we’ll spaghettify the
Hipsters, mobsters
Tricksters, lobsters
Co-stars, youngsters
Roosters, dumpsters
Shit-posters, Friar’s Club roasters
Shysters, gangsters, oysters and toasters
You think you got troubles, kid?
What The Devil said he’d do, The Devil did
You think you got troubles, kid?
What The Devil said he’d do, The Devil did

It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap
‘Cause you’ll never get your fingers into that
No, you’ll never get your fingers into that
It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap
It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap
‘Cause you’ll never get your fingers into that
No, you’ll never get your fingers into that
It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap Shhh…

So drive a plastic knife in
The hyphen between
Space and time
Where no life has been and no light can be seen
And we’re taking it to the bridge
To the Einstein-Rosen
Sticking our thingamajigs with the Higgs and Boson
Do-si-dozing through the frozen soup
With a tub of cookie dough and an ice cream scoop

And all the oldsters stir the pot (Stir the pot)
And all jesters stir the pot (Stir the pot)
The pretty monsters stir the pot
We’re not as big as we thought

There’s a wormhole
In the center of a cinnamon roll
In the cen- cen- center of a cinnamon roll
In the center of a cinnamon roll
And at escape velocity, crisscross the frosting
Tossed across from pole to pole to pole
In the cen- cen- center of a cinnamon roll
In the center of a cinnamon roll

It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap
‘Cause you’ll never get your fingers into that
No, you’ll never get your fingers into that
It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap
It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap
‘Cause you’ll never get your fingers into that
No, you’ll never get your fingers into that
It’s an inverse Chinese finger trap

Lauren London - additional vocals

Copyright 2025 Zach London

Download Song

Nine ships
Swaddled in moon-mist
Cresting the axis
Of giant friendly waves
Nine hands
Charting the heavens
In minutes and seconds
With nine astrolabes
Pitching hammocks in the fo’c’sle
Able men slumber like babes
Berth beams
And bulkheads a-creaking
Nine ships are lay sleeping
On giant friendly waves

When I was growing up and
I’d take a bath at bedtime
And never drain the water
So my toy boats could float around
And in the morning I would
Go back and check on them and
They’d all be clumped together
In a flotilla in the tub
I realized they were frightened
To be at sea at night and
That night I sang to them from
Next-door in bed
And though the walls were thick and
My voice was small and muffled,
They’d hear this lullaby and
Not be afraid
It went

Nine ships
Swaddled in moon-mist
Cresting the axis
Of giant friendly waves
Nine hands
Charting the heavens
In minutes and seconds
With nine astrolabes
Pitching hammocks in the fo’c’sle
Able men slumber like babes
Berth beams
And bulkheads a-creaking
Nine ships are lay sleeping
On giant friendly waves

Berth beams
And bulkheads a-creaking
Nine ships are sleeping
On giant friendly waves


Copyright 2025 Zach London

Download Song

Before we get started
I have a daughter
Lenore, she’s four,
She’s a quarter Chinese
And one quarter Nordic
According to the reporting from 23andMe

Before we… Hi, before we go further

She’s imported

You should know that I’ve been diagnosed with a sort of disease

I mean adopted, not imported, per se

For short it’s called DBDDDSD, it’s short for
Dwarfism Body Dysmorphism Dysthymic Dysphoric Something Disorder

That sounds horrible

No, it’s common, it’s normal,
I’m normal,
It basically means
I wish I was shorter

Shall we order?
Orange soda, no ice, just brown rice and black beans

Number 4, por favor, the chicken torta

I feel like I’ve known you my whole life
I feel like I’ve known I’d be alone my whole life
I will be alone my whole life and that’s fine, fine

Fine, I’m a holy mess

I’m a six at best
Fine, I’m a Midwest Nine
What’s your sign?
Let me guess…is it Cancer?
Answer yes
Bet you can’t guess mine

I’m afraid of bears, spiral stairs,
Weirdos wearing pointy ears at Renaissance Faires
Where do you work?

At Claire’s

Where you from?

Garden City but my parents live in The Thumb
I’m a bitch without my coffee
Otherwise, I’m quite a softy
I’m a Pisces, after all

Meaning what?

That I’m nice.
You’re a bit tall.
I said no ice!

All I want is to have more good days
Can’t I just stack a couple good days?
Can’t I be back on track and stack a couple

Piggyback on a couple

Harken back to the spark of childhood days?
Good days and good days and good days

I feel like I’ve known you my whole life
I feel like I’ve known I’d be alone my whole life
I will be alone my whole life and that’s fine, fine

What is the void I’m hurtling through?
That I get annoyed if I don’t get Wordle in two
I’m hurtling through an eternal abyss
In search of a human connection that doesn’t exist

I feel like I’ve known you my whole life
I feel like I’ve known I’d be alone my whole life
I will be alone my whole life and that’s fine, fine


Lauren London - additional vocals

Copyright 2025 Zach London