If you stick your thumbs
Stick them in your ears and shout
You are still drowned out by the drums
Loud as you are
Take it from the top (2…3…4)
Take it from the
Help us, Jesus, oh God
Just please make it stop
Stop that guitar
This is everything wrong
This is fair, at best
Everything’s wrong when it’s fair,
Fair I guess
There is nothing so pure in the whole entire middle Midwest
As an everyday song of a broken everyday mess
Everyday mess
Rock and roll is dead
Terminated with extreme prejudice,
A scheme I confess
It was I
Close enough for jazz
Close enough for rock and roll
I killed both and so who is next?
Now hip-hop must die
This is everything wrong
This is fair, at best
Everything’s wrong when it’s fair,
Fair I guess
There is nothing so pure in the whole entire middle Midwest
As an everyday song of a broken everyday mess
Everyday mess
To the left, to the left a clown
To the right, all right a joker
Stuck in the middle with you
Stuck at mediocre
To the left, to the left a clown
To the right, all right a joker
Stuck in the middle with you
Stuck at mediocre
Lauren London - additional vocals
Copyright 2017 Zach London
Oh oh
Tonight there will be sightings
Oh oh
As in the ancient writings
Tonight there will be sightings in the dark
Yeti:
Steady now
I wasn’t born ready but I've gotta warn you I’m ready now
I’m living tall, I’m living tall in Nepal,
In fact, I’m a Yeti now
There’s wannabes from Tijuana to Rochester
But I’m not just your imposter in costume
With terrible posture, sir
I’m a real boss, Occifer
With frosty fur softer than
A cross between gossamer floss
And angel hair pasta, sir
Describe me?
You can’t, I’m indescribbable
But don’t you dare call me abominubabibbable
Oh!
Himalaya player staying way above the layer of the ozone
Every day a slurp a Sherpa-flavored snow cone
I’ll break your nose bone
Like celery
Killer-brained gorilla with the skill of trained artillery
It’s a ginormous feat
To climb high enough to meet me
Unless you are Sir Edmund Hilary!
Bigfoot:
Did somebody say ginormous feet?
Check check
Check out these size thirty-fives on deck deck
I’m like a fuzzy brown Shrek
Even my fingerprints, unh
Are bigger then heck
I am the Simian shimmying from my forest dominion
Gimme another berry and I’ll share my opinion
I’m the best in the Pacific Northwest
Go me!
Who’s rocking the goatee?
Who’s eating coyote?
The Notorious B.I.G.
F. double O. T.!
Get ready, a duet of Yeti and me will occur
When we shed our inhibitions and our fur
Yeti and Bigfoot:
Let's synchronize our Sasquatches
‘Cause you known insomuch as
We will be braving the elements
There’s no saving your crotches
Synchronize our Sasquatches
‘Cause you known insomuch as
We will be braving the elements
There’s no saving your crotches
Nessie:
And speaking of Scotches…
Bigfoot:
We wasn’t.
Yeti:
Now hold on, cousin.
Nessie:
In the highlands high
Where the hoarfrost melts
Where plaid-clad neighbors toss cabers
Cross swords with the foreign invaders in their sporrans and kilts
All you folks folks who called, "Hoax! Hoax! Hoax!"
Well the joke’s on you, chumps
Even with no nipples I can still make ripples with my humps
I am Nessie the plesiosaur
I never rest
They’re always calling the press
Because they’re Nessie-obsessed on the shore
Lo, I'm the cryptid
Unscripted
They snap photos of logs
With their phones and
Their drones or
Use sonar
But it isn't me you see in their blogs
When I throw a Loch Party
I go deeper and deeper
To keep out the peeping gawkers
And the stalkers and creepers
So every Angus and Fergus and Hamish
Says I’m shy
Yeti:
That I'm reclusive, elusive
That I'm a bashful and timid guy
Bigfoot:
That I took the Myers-Briggs
And got a capital “I”
Yeti:
They're all liars and pigs
Nessie:
And all that crap is a lie
All:
No, that’s not our M.O.
We cut this demo
To let all them know
Hey, no problemo!
We're bearing our claws
We'll be raring to cause hell
We’re not a mirage
Well, we just wear camouflage well
Martian Invader:
Did somebody say Roswell?
Bigfoot:
No, we didn’t.
Nessie:
Mirage. Well. It was two different phrases.
Martian Invader:
Oh, okay. Sorry.
Yeti:
That was unexpected.
Oh oh
Tonight there will be sightings
Oh oh
As in the ancient writings
Tonight there will be sightings in the dark
Kyle Lawson - Bigfoot
Malcolm London - Martian Invader
Scarlett London - Martian Invader
Lauren London - Nessie
Copyright 2017 Zach London
Wring out your heart
Aim for the nosebleeds
Drench us with memories
Miles above
All of the voices that tell me
I don’t deserve love
Don’t deserve
Buttermilk tears
Bouquets by handfuls
Praise the intangibles
Miles above
All of the voices that tell me
I don’t deserve love
Don’t deserve
Anti-hero
Venomous animus rising
Anti-villain
Teach me how we change
Canvassing the neighborhood
Calling all you
Dilettantes
Calling all you dilettantes
Miles above
All of the voices that tell me
I don’t deserve love
Don’t deserve
Anti-hero
Venomous animus rising
Anti-villain
Teach me how we change
Canvassing the neighborhood
Calling all you
Dilettantes
Calling all you dilettantes
Anti-hero
Venomous animus rising
Anti-villain
Teach me how we change
Canvassing the neighborhood
Calling all you
Dilettantes
Calling all you dilettantes
Lauren London - lead vocals
Copyright 2017 Zach London
This library isn’t big enough for this dream
All the knowledge in the neighborhood can’t contain my rapture
I should pipe down out of deference
Maybe just check out a reference
But beyond a doubt, my preference Is to scream!
(Shhhh!!!)
This library isn’t big enough for this dream
This library isn’t big enough for this dream
I’ve got fire in the belly, so Shelly, dear, why must you
Hold my din to fewer decibels
While I’m in the Dewey Decimals?
Must help your infinitesimal self-esteem
Mmmf mmf mmf mmmf mmmff dreamf
Hands off, Gary!
This library isn’t big enough for this dream
Sweetie, I have no predilection
For the multimedia section
For encyclopedias vex and bore me
They’re so tedious
Hey, the world is our oyster just today
We’re brassy and boisterous and gay
When you try to cloister us away
That’s so prepoisterous!
This library isn't big enough for this dream
You can bet your ginger ale that my sights are so much higher
Let’s all pour a Diet Vernor’s
And toast this corp of quiet learners
And then let’s all scream bloody murder and blow off steam
(Shhhh!)
This library isn’t big enough, Doris
Please come out from underneath your thesaurus
Join this song and we can sing it in chorus as a team
But this library isn’t big enough for this dream!
Lauren London - lead vocals
Darin Zahuranec - trumpet, french horn
Copyright 2017 Zach London
