Songs R-Z - hardtaco.org

Variety Cheese

Living with a cactus drooped over my head.

Pinned my uncle down,

Invited him to dinner 'til he bled.

In the time of the rainbow allotment

Where the Pharisees eat from an open buffet.

People from all walks of life entice you

And then dump you in a tray.

Never mind your social class, it's just a narcotic

And robotic toilet training for the gators at play.

Maybelline the Hun is just a 1-900 number away.

Variety cheese and I'll do what I please

I have houses to haunt if I want your disease.

Throw a brick through my window and watch me recoup.

The body's a wreck 'cause the hands are on deck

And the lizards are leaping to keep it in check

And I'm sick of your grin and Berlin in my soup.

Never underestimate the power of pool.

In your pantry a maiden swarming demon stripping school.

In the wings of the silicon duchess

There's a crutch in the plans of the planet of wax.

Non-organic monorail, a race of choo-choo's trailing off their tracks.

So the regimentarian parents

Have our Aristotle waddling like a tortoise.

Standard deviation is the English way and so is rigor mortis.

Variety cheese and I'm down on my knees

'Cause I'm leaving this town for the ground and the trees.

You know I hate to conform but it pays the bills.

The spittle is dear when the vultures are near

And the life is a little like skittles and beer

And the fish is still warm as it flaps its gills.

No recording available

Unferth's Challenge

Download Song

From "Beowulf: The Rock Opera"

Narrator:

Beowulf gave a hasty goodbye to his family and sailed Eastward with his best fighter. Before long, they arrived on the Danish shores, where they where they were warmly welcomed by the emaciated Hrothgar and all of his thanes. All of his thanes, that is, except one.

Hrothgar:

So bold on the shores of Bredning,

With our offerings of peace in hand,

And our welcome banners raised

And voices singing praise

For a hero from a distant land.

It's Beowulf the pride of Geatland,

And the pride of every noble man,

And if anyone can beat

Or easily defeat

The foul beast that hordes

The Hall of Danish Lords

He can.

Unferth:

Hrothgar are you blind or does your

Sickness make you act this odd

A foreign warrior

Has landed on your shore

And you're treating him as if he's God.

He's got his armour nice and shiny

And lips that promise Grendel's blood,

But never turn your back

On someone with an accent

Limit your domain

To people with a Danish mother

It's a fallacy to honor him like this

Catering this spy, it is apostasy,

I will not stand for it!

Besides, he's not a famous knight

He's hardly made a kill!

If our best warriors can't beat the beast

I don't see how he will.

Whoa, how he will.

Hrothgar:

Unferth, take it easy,

There isn't any cause to yell.

Unferth:

You want to be his pawn

By all means, carry on!

Maybe give the man your crown as well.

Beowulf:

Look, If I could have a word here...

Unferth:

No!

Take your stupid thanes and scram!

Wiglaf:

Hey!

Unferth:

And if anyone objects

So severing their necks,

You can write our epitaph on Beowulf's behalf and

Anyway the only time I've heard his name

Is in conjunction with a swimming contest,

Which, I note, he lost!

Beowulf:

If I could briefly interject...!

Unferth:

NO!

Hrothgar:

Wait a second, Unferth,

As your king I order you let Beowulf reply...

Unferth:

As you wish, my liege... Beowulf

Beowulf:

Thank you.

Unemployment Line

Download Song

From"Tender is the Heart"

Now I'm in the unemployment line

The unemployment line

I've got me a guardian angel

It's a help wanted sign

Old Custer had his place to stand

And I guess I've got mine

It's in the unemployment line

Well, I got me a job driving a big old rig

It wasn't all that old but it sure was big

In fact, that's what got me in trouble on down the line

So I'm driving back roads so I won't get weighed

And I come upon a bridge that was 10 foot 8,

It said, "Low Bridge - 10 foot and 8" right there on the sign.

Well I looked at that bridge, and I looked at that sign

And thought, well I'm not more than about 5'9"

I didn't think of the truck, of course, it was an honest mistake

Well, the boss came down and saw the big old wreck

And he pulled out a gun, when I was hoping for a check

And said, "The truck stop's here, son, I'll teach you how to brake!"

Now I'm in the unemployment line

The unemployment line

A job is like a woman, Son

A good one's hard to find

And if you're sick of working, Boy

Then come on, get behind

Me in the unemployment line

Well I got me a job at the mill at Old Creek

You just do what they say, and at the end of the week

You gotta fill out a form that says how much work you done do

Well, you see I'm a cowboy, and way out west

Well, rounding 'em up is what we do best

So when I filled out my hours

I figured, heck, I'll round up there, too.

Well the boss came down, he said, "We gotta speak

It says here you worked 200 hours this week

And I only seen you come in but two or three days."

Well I looked that boss right in the eye, I said

"Son, I cannot tell a lie

That's an awful lot of hours, I'd say you owe me a raise!"

I'm in the unemployment line

The unemployment line

If being broke was against the law

They'd make me pay a fine

My mouth done pulled a fast one

Now my feet are doing time

In the unemployment line

Now I'm in the unemployment line

The unemployment line

I've got me a guardian angel

It's a help wanted sign

Old Custer had his place to stand

And I guess I've got mine

It's in the unemployment line

(Jon Greenlee - vocals, lead guitar

Aaron Seevers - drums

Adam Meyers - bass

Lauren London - backup vocals)

Ugly

Download Song

From "Chicken"

You're so ugly

That is why

The flowers wilt

When you go by.

Call yo Mama

Don't be shy

She's Yo Ma

With a capital Y

You're so perty

That is why

The birds all sing

When you go by

I'd trade my teeth

For a chicken bone pie

'Cause I'm no fool

And that's no lie.

Hard Taco Radio

Variety Cheese

Unferth's Challenge

Unemployment Line

Ugly

Discography