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The Hard Taco Project
is a Simple Concept

I will write and record one song a month,
every month, until I am dead


I have been doing this since
1993 and so far my health is good.

Hard Taco Radio

Cute As a Button

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Every year that passes I find
I'm lighter on my feet when I'm fighting
Oh oh, and impatience is hereditary
Promise you will always be kind
Maybe we should put it writing
Oh oh, promise me you'll always be as

Cool as a cuc(umber)
Fit as a fidd(le)
Fresh as a dais(y)
Cute as a button
Sly as a trick
Slick as a guy
Fly as a chick
Quick as a fly
High as a breeze
And easy as pie
And as human as a luminary

Searching for the human condit(ion)
Is snorkeling in winter in Loch Ness
Good luck
Can't even see my hands in front of me
I'm a pretty kettle of fish
Vegas odds are you'll be a hot mess
But you 're not,
You 're a mensch
And youve got the potent(ial) to be as

Cool as a cuc(umber)
Fit as a fidd(le)
Fresh as a dais(y)
Cute as a button
Sly as a trick
Slick as a guy
Fly as a chick
Quick as a fly
High as a breeze
And easy as pie
And as human as a luminary

Maybe we should put it in writing
Promise you will always be kind
Maybe we should put it in writing
Promise you will always be kind
Promise you will always be kind
Promise me you'll always be as

Light as feath(er)
Fit as a fidd(le)
Cool as a cuc(umber)
Cute as a button
Sly as a trick
Slick as a guy
Fly as a chick
Quick as a fly
High as a breeze
And easy as pie
And as human as a luminary

David Fernandes - lead guitar
Lauren London - additional vocals

Copyright 2015 Zach London

Catan Catan

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You say Han, I say Han
You say Catan and I say no, it's Catan
Oh no
You say Catan, and I say Catan

I wish I hadn't traded in the D&D crowd for the B&B crowd
But I thought I couldn't be proud about it
When you 're declawed in a peapod, dear God, it's crowded
I was showered in doubt
I was a blocked carotid in a cowardly lion, and my mind was clouded
But now I'm empowered and I'm trying to get out and flout it
To be loud about it
To be proud and shout it
So I seek out
Every opportunity to geek out
Sneak into the cupboard and I rip my freak out
I'll be freakin geekin
Week in, week out
Cause I love real life but
I still love pretend (tend)
And I love my wife,
Cause she's a perfect 1d10 (10)

You say Han, I say Han
You say Catan, I say no, it's Catan
Catan Are you kidding I swear you 're wrong.
Oh no
Ask the German au pair, you 're wrong
You say Catan, I say
Ask the German au pair, you're wrong
I swear you're wrong
I don't know why you say Catan, I say Catan
Ask the German au pair, you're wrong
I swear you're wrong
I don't know why you say Catan, I say Catan
Ask the German au pair, you're wrong
I swear you're wrong
I don't know why you say Catan, I say Catan
Catan Catan

So every Autumn I got em, and caught em, and shot em and
I never took a seat or put my feet up on the ottoman
You got to start at the bottom and be the Family Robinson and
Take your little patch of thatch and scratch out something more metropolitan
Ideas like halogen bulbs
My throne of Solomon is
Imagination shot with syringes of collagen
Til it's all warped and corpulent, not unlike a manatee
So let's take a pledge to outdo every childhood fantasy
I swear it on a stack, swear it on a stack, of my lack of Christianity
That we'll start with a sheet, hang it on the back, hang on the back of that vanity
Then we'll build a bigger fort than youd ever endeavor in every reverie of insanity
Cause we 're on this planet to play
Yay! So hey, fist bump, humanity.

You say Han, I say Han
You say Catan, I say no, it's Catan
Catan Are you kidding I swear you 're wrong
Oh no
Ask the German au pair, you 're wrong
You say Catan, I say Catan
Ask the German au pair, you're wrong
I swear you're wrong
I don't know why you say Catan, I say Catan
Ask the German au pair, you 're wrong
I swear you're wrong
This tune is stolen, all right
But how cool would it be to be sued by a knight
This tune is stolen, all right
But how cool would it be to be sued by a knight
This tune is stolen, all right
But how cool would it be to be sued by a knight
This tune is stolen, all right
But how cool would it be to be sued by a knight


Lauren London - additional vocals
Paul McCartney - co-author (but just barely)

Copyright 2015 Zach London

Big Guy

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Friday is a big day, big guy
Better get a little sleep, little camper
Have a lot of sweet dreams, sweet pie
Tinker doodle, babysaurus

Sugar puddin
Cute patoots
Snuggle bug
And bitsy boots
Big guy

Little mister
Buckaroo
Chubby fella
Diddle boo
Big guy

Friday is a big day, big guy
Better get a little sleep, little num nums
Have a lot of sweet dreams, sweet pie
Tinker doodle, babysaurus

Sugar puddin
Cute patoots
Snuggle bug
And bitsy boots
Big guy

Widdle nipper
Babykins
Snookie bear
And stinkerpants
Big guy

Big guy
Friday is a big day, big guy
Big guy
Friday is a big day, big guy


Copyright 2015 Zach London

Attack Ads

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Roy: You know, in late October people start to put those things in their yards that scare the little children.

Brent: Halloween decorations

Roy: No, campaign signs!

Attack ads
I love political attack ads
Some good old stab you in the back ads
For voters on the fence
We'll help determine
Which of the vermin
They should vote against

Oh, attack ads
All vitriol, bereft of fact ads
A solid month of talking smack ads
It'll take a little luck
To make a little libel
And to rake a little muck

And soon you'll find your ratings hurtin'
'Cause we'll employ a certain
Variety of dirt in
The mud we sling
We sling

We took a thirty second spot out
To claim that you were bought out
Your exes will be brought out
But not before we trot out in our

Hack ads
Your indiscretions in the sack ads
The lies are white, your eyes are black ads
The strategy is clear
If your campaign is a bagel
We'll finagle it a smear

With attack ads
Funded in ways no one can track ads
They can't restrict our super-PAC ads
We love attack ads
We love attack ads


Rebecca Biber - piano
Matt Cameron - vocals
Lauren London - vocals
Roy Sexton - vocals
Brent Stansfield - vocals

Copyright 2015 Zach London

Discography