New Album Release and Psychological Torture Both Imminent

Dear Friends,

There is credible evidence that the U.S. has used "music torture" at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp as a form of psychological coercion. The practice includes blasting songs, often heavy metal or children's music, to disorient and intimidate detainees.

I believe that is why Hard Taco's 35th album, Toxic Productivity Bonus, is not dropping today!

You see, I submitted it to my distributor last week, and as of this writing, it is still undergoing inspection. What is there to inspect? As you can plainly see, the walleyed marionette on the album cover is wearing pants. And his hand is on the C button, a letter specifically chosen because it does not appear in any controversial words.

So what is this gauntlet through which they must run this poor album?

A man of logic can arrive at only one conclusion: the delay allows the Homeland Security Military Commission Authority more time to screen the album for potential music-torture tracks.
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