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Your slate is spotless and I can’t relate
We’re swapping plot twists, me and you
We’re kindred misfits but I can’t relate
I feel like both things can be true
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)

Chaos Agent is my nom de plume
In the rumpus room
I could choose to use my inside voice
How is that a choice?
My opening salvo should earn me my Nobel
I blow on my nails and then polish them on my lapel
Blow on my nails and then polish them on my lapel

Your slate is spotless and I can’t relate
We’re swapping plot twists, me and you
We’re kindred misfits but I can’t relate
I feel like both things can be true
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)

Took a Sharpie and you wrote “hard pass”
On my dance card
Casting off for kisses with the waltzing frogs
Poly pollywogs
Rakish semiaquatics will leave you drowning in guilt
Take your antibiotics and call when you’re down to rebuild
I’ll fetch you wart creams when your dreams fall short of fulfilled

Just be true to your authentic self
And when they protest so
Just be less so
Just be less

Your slate is spotless and I can’t relate
We’re swapping plot twists, me and you
I am listening deeply but I can’t be late
I feel like both things can be true
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)


Copyright 2026 Zach London

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When I post a banana for sale
And I show a banana for scale?
That is ingenious
Such a slick idea that everyone wants a piece
Toadies, hangerson, and bandwagon friends
Showing up, blowing up my DMs
Out of the woodwork
They came out of the woodwork
Oh, fair-weather flames
Claiming they knew me back at Yale
And all because I
Showed a banana for scale
For scale, for scale, I showed a banana for scale

When I claim that the game is afoot
Then I change it to the foot is a game?
That is ingenious
It’s the switcheroo that only a few could pull off 
Here they come, sycophantic as shit=
With their fan wikis frantically writ
Out of the woodwork
They come out of the woodwork
Oh, naming their heirs
Calling their paramours my name
And all because I
Said that the foot is a game 

I have hatched a phenomenal hit
Clearly, I’m a generational wit
So out of the woodwork
They all came out of the woodwork

Long ago, they removed the caulk and grout
To leave openings in the woodwork so the rabble could crawl out

When I said that panini is just 
Just the plural of the word paninus
That was ingenious 
But the narrative was that I was a fascist simp
The hive spoke, there were hundreds of votes 
For me to choke on my overnight oats
Out of the woodwork
They came out of the woodwork

Oh every ghoul
Brimming with cruel abuse to hurl
And all because I
Said that panini was plur’l
Was plur’l, was plur’l
I said that panini was plur’l

Here I come, catastrophically flawed 
Clearly, I’m a generational fraud
So out of the woodwork
They all came out of the woodwork

Long ago, they removed the caulk and grout
To leave openings in 
The woodwork so the rabble could crawl out

When I post a banana for sale
And I showed a banana for scale 
That was ingenious 
So they came out of the woodwork
Out of the woodwork
They all came out of the woodwork
Out of the woodwork
They all came out of the woodwork

Jonathan Barron - additional vocals
Jeff Kutcher - washboard
Lauren London - vocals

Copyright 2026 Zach London

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On the seventh day
God woke up with aspirations
He made light, he made wind
King of Kings was dialed in
What instead ensued
Was an interlude
Fueled, it appears, by a dearth of ideas
In his image, made
We are fated to inertia
Even Eve, even Eve
She still puts her fig leaves on one at a time

Pass the serpent’s gift
If you fall, I fall
Fall, I fall
Fall from this greenhouse to be with you
Just sew the Eden patch on our rucksacks and we’ll
Traipse onto songs and scrapes
Stubbed toes and children and poetry

I’ve had wicked dreams
That are tantamount to treason
Something real, something raw
Gravel teeth and Krav Maga
I put microphones in my knucklebones
So I can strike and hear pain on the mic
Utopian days we woke
Lackadaisical and naked
And what’s odd, even Eve
She still put her fig leaves on one at a time

Pass the serpent’s gift
If you fall, I fall
Fall, I fall
Fall from this greenhouse to be with you
Just sew the Eden patch on our rucksacks and we’ll
Traipse onto songs and scrapes
Stubbed toes and children and poetry
For our
Postlapsaria travelogue


Copyright 2026 Zach London

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Our time together is coming to an end
Clap my back and say
There’ll come a day
When we shall meet again
No, no, no we won’t,
Though it’s pleasant to pretend
But our time together is coming to an end
Our time together is coming to an end

Reach past,
Rub your eyes and reach past
The memories at the bottom of each glass
I chase them, but they scatter
Throughout my gray matter
The only ones I found were sanded down like beach glass
The ones I found were sanded down like beach glass

Our time together is coming to an end
Clap my back and say
There’ll come a day
When we shall meet again
No, no, no we won’t,
Though it’s pleasant to pretend
But our time together is coming to an end
Our time together is coming to an end

Hold hands
Cross your arms and hold hands
And sway in a circle of old friends
It’s a long-forgotten tune
It’s an ancient nigun
And it swaddles us in soft aches and cold sands
It swaddles us in soft aches and cold sands

Lai la lai la lai lai
Lai la lai la lai la lai
Lai la lai la lai lai lai
Lai la lai la lai la lai la lai lai

Lauren London - lead vocals

Copyright 2026 Zach London