Your slate is spotless and I can’t relate
We’re swapping plot twists, me and you
We’re kindred misfits but I can’t relate
I feel like both things can be true
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)
Chaos Agent is my nom de plume
In the rumpus room
I could choose to use my inside voice
How is that a choice?
My opening salvo should earn me my Nobel
I blow on my nails and then polish them on my lapel
Blow on my nails and then polish them on my lapel
Your slate is spotless and I can’t relate
We’re swapping plot twists, me and you
We’re kindred misfits but I can’t relate
I feel like both things can be true
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)
Took a Sharpie and you wrote “hard pass”
On my dance card
Casting off for kisses with the waltzing frogs
Poly pollywogs
Rakish semiaquatics will leave you drowning in guilt
Take your antibiotics and call when you’re down to rebuild
I’ll fetch you wart creams when your dreams fall short of fulfilled
Just be true to your authentic self
And when they protest so
Just be less so
Just be less
Your slate is spotless and I can’t relate
We’re swapping plot twists, me and you
I am listening deeply but I can’t be late
I feel like both things can be true
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)
Can’t relate (I can’t relate)
Copyright 2026 Zach London