What Do the Mulchmen Do?
What do the mulchmen do?
What do the mulchmen do?
The mulchmen come from Allendale
Bing bong, bing bong
Harvest mulch and fill their wagons
Ha ha ha ha ha
Haul it down the mountainside
Spread it on suburban yards
Now you know what mulchmen do
So you won’t be afraid
Apple Bruises
Every apple has a little brown bit
It’s a bruise, it’s a bruise, you have found it
If you accidentally bite it
Don’t get too excited
But in general you should try to eat around it
If you have a pal to have a meal with
Grab an apple and a peeler you can peel with
Peel it to the core
But don’t drop it on the floor
Or you’ll have another apple bruise to deal with
The Island Sun
In the island sun
Having island fun
Where an island man
Plays an island drum
Toss an island dog
On an island bun
Get an island tan
In the island sun
In the island sun
In the island
In the island sun
Hobgoblins
Ding dong
Mrs. Green
Happy Halloween
What exactly do you mean by
“Are we goblins?”
Are we goblins?
Look at these costumes
We’re hobgoblins
Jesus, are you blind?
Are we goblins?
Look at these costumes
We’re hobgoblins
Jesus, are you blind?
Barney the Carnie
Said Harris the Ferris wheel driver
To Barney the Carnie
“Oh darn-y I’m
embarrassed to mention
The Ferris wheel engine is dead.”
Said Barney the Carnie
To Harris, “The Ferris wheel’s broken?
You’re jokin’
Henceforth, you’ll be Harris the carousel driver instead.”
The Awl
Please pass the awl
The awl, the tool
That I may punch a hole in upholstery
You passed me an owl
An owl, you fool
My hole will go unpunched
And that’s the whole story
Goose Droppings
There are goose droppings down in the meadow
Goose droppings come from the sky
Goose droppings come from somewhere close to heaven
That is where good geese go when they die
Ghost Train
(Chugga Chugga boo-boo)
Hear that ominous chug?
That’s the ominous chug
Of the ghost train
Freaky ghost train
Spewing shadowy steam
You hear the ghost train
Whistle sounds like a scream
All fear the ghost train
Chug! Boo!
I Hate People
I hate people
I hate all the people
The people I detest are the rest of the world
And you hate people
You hate the people too
Well that’s great, I can relate,
I think perhaps that we should date
But you’re still people
So I still hate you
Houlihan’s
You like the Irish fiddle?
Then come on down to Boyle’s
There’s fiddlers at Gallagher’s
And more at Tim O’Doyle’s
But all those loser fiddlers
And all their loser bands
Just wish that they
Would get to play
At Houlihan’s
Houlihan’s, Oh Houlihan’s
No also-rans at Houlihan’s
There’s nowhere that has cooler bands
Than Houlihan’s
Houlihan’s, Oh Houlihan’s
No also-rans at Houlihan’s
There’s nowhere that has cooler bands
Than Houlihan’s
Clear My Name
Got to clear my name
My bad reputation
Got to clear my name
‘Cause my name is dirt
Don’t call me James
Don’t call me Jason
Got to clarify
My name is Kurt
Jack Squat
If you want to pray for a toy robot
You should pray to Santa Claus
For Santa Claus is real
And Jack Frost is not
If you pray to Jack Frost
You’ll get jack squat
If you want a meal
Delicious and hot
You should hunt an antelope
For antelopes are real
And jackalopes are not
If you hunt for jackalopes
You’ll eat jack squat
Plaid
Plaid, plaid, plaid, plaid
See the world in plaid
Plaid, plaid, plaid, plaid
See the world in plaid
Come see Baghdad in plaid
Islamabad in plaid
The country Chad in plaid
Leningrad, you’ll need a time machine Cincinnati, wear plaid-y
Saint Maarten, sport the tartan
And I bet that plaid’ll
Look great on you in Seattle
Plaid, plaid, plaid, plaid
See the world in plaid
Plaid, plaid, plaid, plaid
See the world my lad
Fleas
Fleas have short memories
Have short memories
So fleas don’t fret
Fleas don’t fret about
Things you said about them
Fleas forgive and forget
Their memories
Fleas forgive and forget
Fleas (fleas) don’t (don’t)
Fleas (fleas) don’t (don’t)
Fleas (fleas) don’t (don’t)
Fret
Fleas have short memories
Have short memories
So fleas forget
Their enemies
Fleas forgive and forget
Asian Pan
The wok is an Asian pan
That is used in China, not in Japan
It’s an Asian pan
That is not in Japan
So it’s not a Pan-Asian pan
Lauren London - piano, additional vocals
Malcolm London - additional vocals
Josh Siegel - additional vocals
Copyright 2025 Zach London