Mayor:
The winters in the suburbs can be brutal
It’s futile
To try to boost the family’s morale
Shall we
Suffer through another day so dreary?
In theory
My query is, my dearie, do you want to see a battle royale?
Then the
Barber and the plow driver should fight
The barber and the plow driver should fight
One of them likes to trim a beard
The other one thinks that’s weird, and they are right right right
So they should fight!
Chorus:
Oh, the barber and plow driver should fight
They have different jobs so they should fight
Townsperson:
The plowman drives some 4 x 4s
Townsperson:
The barber grooms some pompadours
Gramma:
They should strip down to their drawers and fight
Plow driver:
I’m a proud plow driver and I drive a plow
I plow that snow into a roadside pile
I smile with pride at the piles I’ve plowed
I’m a proud plow driver and I drive plows proud
Chorus:
He’s a proud plow driver and he drives a plow
He plows that snow into a roadside pile
He smiles with pride at the piles he’s plowed
He’s a proud plow driver and he drives plows proud
Plow driver:
Well, I make a pile of snow on each flank
You could say I make dough because I make bank
I make a snowbank pile from the snowdrift
And the rank and file thank me ‘cause i’m so swift
Chorus:
Well, he makes a pile of snow on each flank
You could say he makes dough because he makes bank
Makes a snowbank pile from the snowdrift
And the rank and file thank him ‘cause he’s so swift
Mayor:
Oh the barber and the plow driver should fight
Chorus:
Fight, fight!
Mayor:
The barber and the plow driver should fight
Chorus:
Fight!
Townsperson:
One of them wields a comb and brush
Townsperson:
One of them feels at home in slush
Gramma:
They should take off all their clothes and fight
Chorus:
The barber and the plow driver should melee
Here the barber comes to join the fray
Just clippin’
And a-vacuumin’
Mayor:
Well, that’s the barber’s acumen
Chorus:
Let’s hope he’s here to smack you in the face
Chorus:
Want a cut
Want a want a cut cut
Want a cut cut cut
Want a want a cut
Want a want a cut cut
Barber:
Hot towel!
Chorus:
Want a want a cut cut
Want a cut cut cut
Want a want a cut
Want a want a cut cut <br/
Want a want a cut cut
Want a cut cut cut
Want a want a cut
Want a want a cut cut
Want a want a cut cut
Want a cut cut cut
Barber:
Want a crew cut, buzz cut, up do, slick back
Mullet or a French crop
Mmm-mmm flat top
Side part, sideburns, fade and a braid
With the pomade for a stiff quiff or a messy bun
Want a taper at the nape or want a V-shape
Half-up, half down, shag
Or a ponytail
Top knot, perm or a pixie cut
Or maybe you want a bouffant do
Or a messy bun
Bowl cut, cornrows, ombre
Toupee, a lot of layers
Or a high and tight
With a balayage, bob, or the curtain bangs
Or a beehive, yes, son
One more messy bun
Everyone
Chorus:
One more messy bun
Barber:
Everyone
Chorus:
One more messy bun
Barber:
Ready for the new you?
Get a new do
Get a new you do done
Barber and Chorus:
Get another messy bun
Chorus:
Want a cut
Want a want a cut cut
Want a cut cut cut
Want a want a cut
Want a want a cut cut
Want a want a cut cut
Want a cut cut cut
Want a want a cut
Want a want a cut cut
Want a want a cut cut
Want a cut cut cut
Want a want a cut
Want a want a cut cut
Barber:
Hot towel!
Chorus:
Want a want a cut cut
Want a cut cut cut
Want a want a cut
Want a want a cut cut cut
Plow driver:
I refuse to listen to this shite, Christ!
Mayor:
That’s the gist of this entire zeitgeist
Plow driver:
That’s the gist of why this vile stylist and I’ll
Be remiss if we don’t dial up a fist fight
Chorus:
The barber and the plow driver should brawl
Mayor:
‘Cause one is unemployed from Spring to Fall
Plow driver:
Ach, that’s me!
Chorus:
They should pair off
They should square off
Gramma:
They should tear off all their clothes and bare it all
Chorus:
And they should brawl
The barber and the plow driver should fight
Build a barb’d wire cage and watch ‘em fight
Barber:
I will get you good and scissored
Plow Driver:
I’m a wizard in a blizzard
Gramma:
Gramma wants to watch
Chorus:
As is her right
Townsperson:
Right?
Mayor:
Only savagery and power
From this barber and this plower
Has a chance of quenching our appetite
Townsperson:
For there cannot be a truce
Townsperson:
When the deicer meets the mousse
Chorus:
And so the barber and plow driver should fight
Barber and the plow driver should fight
Barber and the plow driver should fight
Fight!
Gramma:
And do it nekkid!
Jonathan Amaro Barron - Mayor
Julia Garlotte - Gramma
Lauren London - Townsperson
Malcolm London - Townsperson
Scarlett London - Townsperson
Russ Schwartz - Plow Driver
Jeremy Wine - Saxophones
Copyright 2024 Zach London
