Lot 1
Charlamagne was the Emperor of France
Here’s the napkin where he jotted down the specs
In advance
Of his patent application
For a rocking chair that’s also a bidet
Day day day day day day day day
Opening bid starts at 19.3
Do I hear 20 K?
Hear 20 G?
Going once
Going twice
Going three times
Any advance on the price?
Paddles up Hammer down
Sold!
To the woman in the
Gold mask covering her
Whole face that she won’t
Expose no knows who she is
But she’s a regular
She’s a regular
Auction house
Lot 2
One cassette
Of Chopin’s 6th mazurka
Circa 1981
In a jet to Spokane
Where Jimmy Carter played it as his final presidential act
In a Walkman
You walk home with this artifact today-ay
Such distinguished provenance befitting
Discerning buyers
Hgh roller bidding
Opening bid starts at 19.3
Do I hear 20 K?
Hear 20 G?
Going once
Going twice
Going three times Any advance on the price?
Paddles up
Hammer down
Sold!
To the mustachioed esteemed
Colonel and his cream
Khakis and his team
From the puppet state regime
He’s a regular
He’s a regular
Auction house
Auction house
Lot 3
A clump of hair from a drain in Buckingham
Lot 4
A Fred Astaire monogrammed sonogram
Lot 5
A mammoth coccyx
Lot 6
Chopsticks used by Hemingway
Way way way way way way
Opening bid starts at 19.3
Do I hear 20 K?
Hear 20 G?
Going once
Going twice
Going three times
Any advance on the price?
Paddles up
Hammer down
To the tech mogul with a beta
Robotic arm and glasses that flash data
To the sexy assassin sisters
Whisper welcome to the
Auction house
Auction house
Auction house
Auction house
Lauren London - additional vocals
Scarlett London - additional vocals
Copyright 2024 Zach London