Oh oh
Tonight there will be sightings
Oh oh
As in the ancient writings
Tonight there will be sightings in the dark
Yeti:
Steady now
I wasn’t born ready but I've gotta warn you I’m ready now
I’m living tall, I’m living tall in Nepal,
In fact, I’m a Yeti now
There’s wannabes from Tijuana to Rochester
But I’m not just your imposter in costume
With terrible posture, sir
I’m a real boss, Occifer
With frosty fur softer than
A cross between gossamer floss
And angel hair pasta, sir
Describe me?
You can’t, I’m indescribbable
But don’t you dare call me abominubabibbable
Oh!
Himalaya player staying way above the layer of the ozone
Every day a slurp a Sherpa-flavored snow cone
I’ll break your nose bone
Like celery
Killer-brained gorilla with the skill of trained artillery
It’s a ginormous feat
To climb high enough to meet me
Unless you are Sir Edmund Hilary!
Bigfoot:
Did somebody say ginormous feet?
Check check
Check out these size thirty-fives on deck deck
I’m like a fuzzy brown Shrek
Even my fingerprints, unh
Are bigger then heck
I am the Simian shimmying from my forest dominion
Gimme another berry and I’ll share my opinion
I’m the best in the Pacific Northwest
Go me!
Who’s rocking the goatee?
Who’s eating coyote?
The Notorious B.I.G.
F. double O. T.!
Get ready, a duet of Yeti and me will occur
When we shed our inhibitions and our fur
Yeti and Bigfoot:
Let's synchronize our Sasquatches
‘Cause you known insomuch as
We will be braving the elements
There’s no saving your crotches
Synchronize our Sasquatches
‘Cause you known insomuch as
We will be braving the elements
There’s no saving your crotches
Nessie:
And speaking of Scotches…
Bigfoot:
We wasn’t.
Yeti:
Now hold on, cousin.
Nessie:
In the highlands high
Where the hoarfrost melts
Where plaid-clad neighbors toss cabers
Cross swords with the foreign invaders in their sporrans and kilts
All you folks folks who called, "Hoax! Hoax! Hoax!"
Well the joke’s on you, chumps
Even with no nipples I can still make ripples with my humps
I am Nessie the plesiosaur
I never rest
They’re always calling the press
Because they’re Nessie-obsessed on the shore
Lo, I'm the cryptid
Unscripted
They snap photos of logs
With their phones and
Their drones or
Use sonar
But it isn't me you see in their blogs
When I throw a Loch Party
I go deeper and deeper
To keep out the peeping gawkers
And the stalkers and creepers
So every Angus and Fergus and Hamish
Says I’m shy
Yeti:
That I'm reclusive, elusive
That I'm a bashful and timid guy
Bigfoot:
That I took the Myers-Briggs
And got a capital “I”
Yeti:
They're all liars and pigs
Nessie:
And all that crap is a lie
All:
No, that’s not our M.O.
We cut this demo
To let all them know
Hey, no problemo!
We're bearing our claws
We'll be raring to cause hell
We’re not a mirage
Well, we just wear camouflage well
Martian Invader:
Did somebody say Roswell?
Bigfoot:
No, we didn’t.
Nessie:
Mirage. Well. It was two different phrases.
Martian Invader:
Oh, okay. Sorry.
Yeti:
That was unexpected.
Oh oh
Tonight there will be sightings
Oh oh
As in the ancient writings
Tonight there will be sightings in the dark
Kyle Lawson - Bigfoot
Malcolm London - Martian Invader
Scarlett London - Martian Invader
Lauren London - Nessie
Copyright 2017 Zach London
