The Fizzlewinch Saga

"Captain Porc, grab seven planes and seven men!
Fizzlewinch has infiltrated Craymor Hangar 10,
And he's stolen the Barely Visible Biplane and our secret plans
And he's trying to cross the border once again!"

Commander Manders looked at the radar screen and sighed,
"We shouldn't have let him off so easy last time that he tried," he said
"Captain, take these Zeros here and shoot him down on sight
And we'll make him rue the day he ever flied."

Now Fizzlewinch who thought the scary part had passed,
Looked behind and saw the fleet of Zeros gaining fast,
And he fumbled his altometer and saw to his surprise
That the BVB was running out of gas.

So fly, Fizzlewinch, fly,
Fly, Fizzlewinch, fly.
If they catch you here alive
They'll shoot you dead until you die!
So fly, Fizzlewinch, fly,
Fly, Fizzlewinch, fly...
Death awaits beneath and behind
Your freedom is the sky.

Now the Captain had a thought before his men attacked.
The biplane was worth millions and he knew this for a fact.
So he said, "It would be better killing Fizzlewinch off by hand,
And then flying home with the BVB intact!"

So the Captain tied a coil of rope to a grappling hook,
And lowered himself to the biplane on it for a closer look,
And he crawled between the two left wings to Fizzlewinch's side
Who tried to shake him off, but the Captain wouldn't be shook.

So Fizzlewinch came out for Captain Porc to see,
And their goggled faces clashed and wind and fists were flying free,
And they wrestled in the cockpit 'til the Captain finally tripped
And fell a thousand feet and skewered on a tree.

So fly, Fizzlewinch, fly,
Fly, Fizzlewinch, fly.
If they catch you here alive
They'll shoot you dead until you die!
So fly, Fizzlewinch, fly,
Fly, Fizzlewinch, fly...
Death awaits beneath and behind
Your freedom is the sky.

Fizzlewinch knew his plane was about to hit the ground,
So he scaled the dangling grapple-rope in a single fizzle-foot bound,
And he climbed into the Captain's plane and picked up the CB
And told the seven men to shoot the biplane down.

Quite sure that their Captain told them what to do,
The seven Zeros happily dove to carry orders through,
And the biplane circled down into the mountainside, engulfed
In mortar bullets and ballistic target spoo.

The planes regained formation and their leader said,
"Our enemy the spy is surely shriveled up and dead,"
So they hurried back to Craymor where Commander bitched them out
And ordered each one to a sink to soak his head.

So fly, Fizzlewinch, fly,
Fly, Fizzlewinch, fly.
Manders lost his plans, his plane,
And now he's lost his spy!
So fly, Fizzlewinch, fly,
Fly, Fizzlewinch, fly...
Death awaits beneath and behind
Your freedom is the sky.

Fizzlewinch touched down to a friendly landing crew,
And the President was waiting and his girlfriend Leslie Lou.
She said, "Oh babe I've missed you so much, let's go home and screw,"
And she kissed him, and the President did too.

So fly, Fizzlewinch, fly,
Fly, Fizzlewinch, fly.
The President got his hero
And your girlfriend got her guy!
So fly, Fizzlewinch, fly,
Fly, Fizzlewinch, fly...
Death awaits beneath and behind
Your freedom is the sky.


No recording available
Copyright 1992 Zach London

Hard Taco Radio

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