Lemons and Pornography

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From "The Seventh Sea"

Lemons and pornography
Lemons and pornography
All that we need at sea
Is lemons and pornography

Hunger's cry we ignore
We live off nails, scabs and debris
Then we sail back to shore
For lemons and pornography

Had to raid another pirate ship
Since they passed that damn embargo
So we broke their skegs
And their peglegs
And spilled beer on their cargo

Oh, torture the crew
Keelhaul a parrot or two
The bilge of the "Jolly"'s
Our cracker for Polly to chew

Lemons and pornography
Lemons and pornography
Oh how sweet life can be
With lemons and pornography

We can get more booty free
If we raid the coast of Barbary
And foreign ports are duty free
For Lemons and pornography

We heard a lot of dames
Really dig our names
So we'll snag a few if they're curvy
Sadly they never last
When we make them fast
Soon they're all pussed up with scurvy

Oh they'll feel our wrath
If they're caught taking a bath
We'll push 'em off the plank
With the cannons point blank in their path.

Lemons and pornography
Lemons and pornography
Wait beneath my Christmas tree
For lemons and pornography

You're sure inconsiderate
Giving us treasure maps marked with a key
Cuz we're all illiterate
Sing "lemons and pornography!"

Isn't life free when your passion's to plunder
Could it just be fate that your new eyepatch works great
As you tie a large metal weight
To the leg of your first mate
And shout "PIECES OF EIGHT!"
As you push the fool under
Well, no wonder we say...

Lemons and pornography
Lemons and pornography
We can brew our herbal tea
With lemons and pornagraphy

Lemons and pornography
Lemons and pornography
Lemons and... lemons and...
More lemons and pornography!

Aye! Tallow the jib! Swarth the main sheet!
Grout the crow's nest! Cockswain the bilgewater!
Ben bow the sea chest! Hurly Burly!
Give me some time to blow the man down.

Ebb the tide! Smack me mother!
Festoon yon fore and aft! Buckle me cockles!
Festoon Yan's barnacle! Tickle me pickle!
Give me some time to blow the man down!
(Ar, I don't know what I'm doin')

Lemons and pornography...

(Jon Greenlee - drums, bass, lead guitar
Maury Loeb - co-author, additional vocals)

Copyright 1994 Zach London

Hard Taco Radio