Piccolo Pete

From "Ground Beef"

Christopher Custard is dying to meet

With Mary Molasses and Piccolo Pete.

One is endearing, the other discreet,

But God only knows which one.

Says Christopher Custard to Piccolo Pete

Mary is very endearing and sweet.

For one of these qualities we should compete,

But God only knows which one.

God only knows which one.

So Christopher Custard and Piccolo Pete

Stand shoulder to shoulder on Barnacle street

One is so nervous he's wetting his seat,

But God only knows which one.

Then Mary, who's never had too much to eat

(For while she's endearing, she's also petite...)

Hops up to her friends upon one of her feet,

But God only knows which one.

So hop to the beat of Piccolo Pete and I'll tell you why:

Hop to the beat of Piccolo Pete and then Piccolo Pete'll hop too

And take time to meet with Piccolo Pete and I'll tell you why

There never has been,

There isn't now,

And there never will be a meeter like you!

(Jeff Kleiner - harmonica)