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Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Heroes in a penny farthing bicycle

Raphael:
The name is Raphael
And I’m the mouthy orphan, often mouthing off
Oh well, I guess the endorphins get me off
When something awful sets me off and I
Froth at the mouth
And scoff, fly off the handle
And I channel my animal wrath
Cause anger management was never my path
And I’m drawn to confrontation like a flame to a moth
And if the Foot Clan set’s foot in our turf
Should they be so clueless,
I’ll shank them with my two sais, til their shoe size is two less
I’ll stab ‘em and jab ‘em
I’ll shiv ‘em and give ‘em a need for a non-steroidal
I’m a Steam Age Mutant Ninja Turtle

Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Heroes in a gear-driven steam wagon

Donatello:
Oh, hello
Who’s that savvy fellow?
Why, it’s me!
I’m the thinker and the tinker Donatello
I know stuff
I like to blow stuff up
And when the go gets rough
I raise my Bo Staff up!
I’ve got the means to the nicest devices and machines for when our team is in a crisis
So pass me a slice while I dice up these contraptions
And if you can’t hear just read the captions
So please observe, I’m the urban perp who looks superb in the purple
I’m a Steam Age Mutant Ninja Turtle

Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Heroes in a trench coat and fascinator

Leonardo:
To make pizza, you need raw dough and tomato
To make a leader you need me to lead the squad in the grotto
Pardon, I’m the battle-hardened guardian katana desperado Leonardo
So domo arigato!
I’m in charge
I’m Leonar-ar-ardo
In a pinch, call Da Vinch.
That’s my mo-o-otto
I’m all bravado
The chief, the bossy prima donna
Wanna settle every beef
Cause I’m the Set-tl-er of Katana
I’m Splinter’s shoo-in for most prudent student
A Steam Age Ninja Turtle Mutant

Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Heroes in a clockwork unicycle

Michelangelo:
Nunckucka laka laka Nunckucka laka Nunckucka laka laka Nunchuck
I’m fifteen or sixteen
And this teen is pristine
Let’s paint the town red
Just like I painted the Sistine
I’m Michelangelo (Ho!)
Pass the mic to Mikey if you likey
It’s a 24-hour party in my psyche
Cowabunga, dudes.
I’ve got a hunger for fun
Like all you younger dudes
So it’s no wonder who’s the one
They put on the Underoos when all is said and done
That’s the clincher
I’m a Steam Age Mutant Turtle Ninja

Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Heroes in a coal-driven skateboard

Splinter:
If you’re a student of Budokon
You might know my pseudonym
Splinter, the wisest rat
Outside the Secret of NIMH
Since a rogue canister of radioactive mutagen
Got in the sewage then
Who’s the Wonderful Wizard of Ooze?
The sage
Is in the house
I’ve been waging war
While raising four
Teenagers in the house
Goodness me, golly gee,
I offer no apology
I’m a master of shinobi and
Scholar of herpetology and
N-I-N-J-A is my starting word in Wordle
Like a Steam Age Mutant Ninja Turtle

Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Heroes in a dirigible biplane

April:
Live in 3… 2…
For Channel 6 News, this is April O’Neil
What is mutagenic ooze?
We’ll reveal in the newsreel at noon
We’ll meet the heroes in the sewers
For exclusive interviews of them
So viewers stay tuned
Who’s that making a stir
At the top of her game?
A hurricane with an Irish surname
A Fox and a ginger nerd
In talks with the ninja turtles
My brass zephyr
In fast pursuit
For Channel 6 news, this is April O’Neil
Having a red letter day
In a yellow leather jumpsuit

Shredder:
Shredder is on the premises
Witness the genesis of a better nemesis
The party pooper
For the rodent and his stupid scruples
The supervillain super-killin’ his quadruple pupils
You’ll be under the foot of the Foot Clan like a Shih Tzu
When we blitz you
Then it hits you
That you never learned jack all about any tactical practical parts of ninjutsu
A permanent helmet cause I’m ugly
And bladed armour just to harm anyone who tries to hug me I’m
Criminally masterminding injuries and hurdles
For the Steam Age Mutant Ninja Turtles

Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Heroes in a zeppelin, zephyr, ornithopter, gyrocopter

Pizza:
Pizza here, beloved meal of millions
In particular these sewer-bound reptilians
I got pneumatic tubes and clockworks
Sprinkled with zinc dust
Which set me apart from your typical thin crust
Their address stumps the delivery guy
Whenever he try to deliver every pie
I espy that he’s flustered, but I must not speak
Although the rust in the gears in my crust might squeak
And say, “Check the manhole, or the airship
If you drop me and run, you’ll never get a fair tip.”

Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Steam age mutant ninja turtles
Heroes in a top hat and monocle


Lauren London - April
Malcolm London - Donatello
Based on TMNT Theme Song by Chuck Lorre

Copyright 2025 Zach London