The Hard Taco Project
is a Simple Concept

I will write and record one song a month,
every month, until I am dead



I have been doing this since
1993 and so far my health is good.

Hard Taco Radio

Tribute to the Rhythm King

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Safari calls
And I’m shaking the rust from my tush
Gonna pack my trunk
Full of jungle funk
And go deep trek into the bush
On the glow stick trail
To the mirror ball burial ground
Gonna twist and stomp
Through a disco swamp
Til the lost tribe circles around

And I’ll pay
Pay tribute to the rhythm king
When the Sherpas flee
Gonna bend the knee
And get down and kiss that ring
And we all go na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king

“Chooka lucka unga booga bucka,”
Read the indigenous runes
I’ve searched the globe for the perfect strobe
And arcane indigenous tunes
And when the hook goes,
“Chooka lucka unga booga bucka”
I know that I’m in the right place
And I start to sweat
Through my pith helmet
When the tribal chief’s kicking the bass

Pay!
Pay tribute to the rhythm king
Every word that’s sung
In the native tongue
Means, “Get up, shake that thing.”
And we all go na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Pay tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king

He's got a bone in his nose (bone in his nose!)
And a necklace of bones (necklace of bones!)
Another a bone in his hair  (bone in his hair!)
And more there on his throne (more there on this throne!)

Pay!
Pay tribute to the rhythm king
With a blow gun dart
To my broken heart
I’ll be tied in boiling water
While they line up for the conga and swing!
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king
Na, na, na, na, na
Tribute to the rhythm king

Lauren London - lead vocals

Copyright 2017 Zach London

Wrap the Babe in Damask

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Fa la la la la
Rings the laughter of the River Witch
Fa la la la la
I will pay her ransom dear and

Wrap the babe in Damask
Wrap the babe in wool
Sing, we shall sing
Sing and bring the prophecy of the bumper crop
So sorry my poor wretched fool

Fa la la la la
‘Tween the rushes lay the bassinet
Fa la la la la
There await the crone who bade I

Wrap the babe in Damask
Wrap the babe in wool
Sing, we shall sing
Sing and bring the prophecy of the bumper crop
So sorry my poor wretched fool

Wrap the babe in Damask
Wrap, wrap the babe in wool
Sing, we shall sing
Sing and bring the prophecy of the bumper crop
So sorry my poor wretched fool

Wrap the babe in Damask
Wrap, wrap the babe in wool
Sing, we shall sing
Sing and bring the prophecy of the bumper crop
So, so sorry my poor wretched fool


Lauren London - River Witch vocals

Copyright 2016 Zach London

Toast

Watch Video

I'm giving thanks because I'm feeling prosperous
So let's be the Yanks in Gloucester buying shots for the Scots
And dranks for the Latvians sitting across from us,
Get tanked in a mosque on the banks of the Bosphorus
Get sloshed on a Foster's Lager in Austria, a Boston Lager in Bosnia,
And top it off by quaffing a tankard of Slovakian bock I bought at Cost Plus
Now I will not be constantly monstrous or caustic
Nor will I be constantly consciously cautious.
And I'll drink with Hamas
Is that so preposterous
I bet when they're sauced they won't be so cross with us.
Because I swear hate stinks
So let's share great drinks
And toss back a bottle of Scotch that's older than that chip on your shoulder
Cost is no obstacle.
And when your eyes are glossed and crossed
And you're nauseous, exhausted, and lost on your way to the hostel
You can drunk dial your Hamas boss and tell him
Peace is possible.

Copyright 2016 Zach London

Why Won't You Cry?

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Buttered toast
Bagel chips
Turn into dust
Before they touch your lips
And aren't you crushed
Crumbled crust
Why won't you cry

Judas kiss
Callouses
Bloom where the
Moat around your palace is
And aren't you sad, Galahad
Why won't you cry

Why won't you cry
Why won't you cry
Why won't you cry
Why won't you cry
Acquiesce
To the urge
Deeply in need
Of a cathartic purge
Your limbic lobe
Is waiting, Job
Why won't you cry

Did you take
An anti-histamine
Before sitting through
The Carl and Ellie scene
No anecdote
Can lump your throat
Why won't you cry

Why won't you cry
Why won't you cry
Why won't you cry
Why won't you cry

Lauren London - additional vocals
Malcolm London - additional vocals
Scarlett London - additional vocals

Copyright 2016 - Zach London

Discography