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The Hard Taco Project
is a Simple Concept

I will write and record one song a month,
every month, until I am dead


I have been doing this since
1993 and so far my health is good.

Hard Taco Radio

Jupiter the Balloon Horse

Hard Taco presents: The Triumphant Return of Jupiter the Balloon Horse (2008 release).

  • Jupiter
  • Stella
  • Lay Down Paul Revere
  • Our First Dollar
  • Girls Are So Neat
  • Fortress of Lovingkindness
  • Les Cavernes Perigord
  • Bioluminescent Bear
  • Fire Chief
  • Oslo
  • Moderate Rock
  • The First Three Wars
  • Only a Man
  • There, There, There

Jupiter the Balloon Horse
Hard Taco's freshest, moddest (as in, "most mod") full-length CD, "Jupiter the Balloon Horse," has dropped. Having this album is such a good idea, it is now widely accepted to be the gold standard by which all other good ideas are based. To help put this context, I've developed the 10-point Having Jupiter (HJ) scale. The higher the number, the better the idea! Here's an example:

9 HJ's - Wearing a tie to a black tie party
7 HJ's - Wearing a tie to a white elephant party
3 HJ's - Bringing an elephant to a black tie party
1 HJ - Bringing a black elephant to a white elephant supremacist party

and then the training takes over

Hard Taco's 2009 release, "and then the training takes over..."



  • Excelsior
  • Giant U-Shaped Magnet
  • Take Me Home
  • I'm Not Saying, I'm Just Saying
  • Mexican American War
  • The Night That Eight Belles Died
  • Jelly IA
  • Let's Play Pretend
  • Spanish American War
  • Seasonal Affective
  • How to Love Your Process
  • World War I
  • Never Shake a Baby
  • The Agony of the Leaves
  • World War II
  • Sleep Stages
  • Rattle
  • Rotisserie
  • Korea

I am pleased to announce that a large box of new Hard Taco CDs is sitting in my kitchen, and like all things on God's brown Earth, it has a name. The box is called "box," and the album is called, "and then the training takes over..." The new disc is truly a sensual massage of all four of your senses. (I warned you to stop using Zicam, but did you listen to me)

This CD features a handful of previously unreleased songs about GREAT AMERICAN WARS which will direct a relentless blitzkrieg on your remaining three senses.

(Seriously, why would you keep liquid nitrogen right next to your mouthwash and in an identical bottle)

However, even without these exciting military-themed tunes, this CD is nothing less than a merciless steamrolling frenzied onslaught/assault on both of your senses.

(Just to clarify... you're wearing that blindfold just in case you happen upon a game of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey) Anyway, hear and feel your copy today!

Approach Approach Conflict

Approach Approach Conflict (2010)















  • Sweet Tooth Trollop
  • Denmark Needs Rock Stars
  • For North Carolina and the Others
  • Muscle Memory
  • Alpha Mom
  • Poof (Are You Unna Dance)
  • Roughhousing Robots
  • Blankety Blank
  • The Quincy Steam Hoist
  • Suds
  • Backup Torch Song
  • A Life of Crime
  • The Old Tongue

You're going to need this: ( )
It's an electronic representation of an opposing thumb and index finger, ready to pinch you. Why do you need electronic pinching Because there is a glistening new Hard Taco album, Approach Approach Conflict," and nothing could be dreamier.

The President of the United States has already released this statement:

"Holla, fellow Americans. At this time I wish I was in a deep coma, so I could finally listen to Hard Taco's Approach Approach Conflict 24 hours a day without missing state dinners. I only regret that strangling all nine Supreme Court justices won't free up enough seats to appoint all the marvelous musicians who played on this album. Somebody e-pinch me!"

Discography