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I refuse your anti-thumb sucking pledge
Or plane flights without
My Blanky, as I call my blanket
I am riding my Big Wheel off a ledge
But I’m testing out
Testing out, testing out, testing out

As your frames mature
And your features harden
Like Dolly Parton
I’ll stay insecure
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten

I’ll break off an eraser in my nose
And then how about
I just spray some bug spray in my eyes
I’m afraid of a parade of shadows
But I’m testing out
Testing out, testing out, testing out

As you grow and grow
Til you’re bodyguardin’
For Tonya Harding
I’ll stay small and slow
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten

As your tones are changed
Your baritone is startin’
Like Dino Martin
I’ll stay treble-ranged
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten
Skipping kindergarten


Lauren London - additional vocals

Copyright 2018 Zach London

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Shoes on, coats on
She’s making memories of me saying
Shoes on, coats on
We’re already late
Lifelong memories

Maybe another night
In the dungeon will
Jog your memory
Maybe, still
La la la la la la la
Shoes on, coats on
We’re already late

Lifelong memories
I just want to live
Long enough to see my
Grandchildren put into
Nursing homes and
Forgotten by everyone
That they knew

Another night
In the dungeon will
Jog your memory
Maybe, still
La la la la la la la
Shoes on, coats on
We’re already late

Lifelong memories
Lifelong memories

Lauren London - vocals

Copyright 2018 Zach London

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I
II
III
IV

Roman Roman Roman
Roman Roman Roman
Roman Roman Roman
Roman Roman Roman
All right!
All right! All right!
All right! All right!
All right! All right!

Let's take a crack at antiquities and rarities
And harken back to the era of the Pharisees
Want to interact with Bellerophon and Pericles?
Too bad.
They're Greek.
We're Roman
Whoomp, there it is!

Their gods were first
Okay, but ours aren't parodies
Ares and Nereus are just embarrassing hilarities
Hades and Pluto exhibit primarily polarities
And ladies, Juno never parroted Hera. Please!
Comparing these deities
There's substantial disparities
You're reading into
Circumstantial similarities
Of Mercury's and Hermes's
Of Hercules and Heracles
Though apparently Medusa was both
My eyes are up here, boys
Stare at these!

Eros, the seducer, shot arrows that were looser
Than arrows shot by Cupid or Jupiter who was
The the heir apparent of Zeus's, apparently inheriting
A group of stupid excuses for deities so heinous
That we had to make up Janus and retire the Pleiades

So render unto Caesar
Render unto Caesar
Jeez, Louisa
Render unto Orange Julius
The original orange leader

Roman Roman Roman
Though the age is Golden
Keep them goddies Roman
All right
All right! All right!
All right! All right!

Cry "Hear ye's" with fervor
For Ceres and Minerva
My dearies, you deserve a change
From wimpy Olympians
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?

Your orgy was projected to at least draw a quorum
I cordially accepted, taking exception to moral decorum
I hope it thwarted your boredom
I heard, of course, it was awesome
But, well, a funny thing happened on the way to the foursome
Pliny. Pliny the Younger.
Pliny the Elder is fine, but the son's a whiney-ass drunkard
Just a drunken failure, just a punk in regalia
Who regaled me with crock until I had to bail on on your bacchanalia
So here's to Roman sandals,
And here's Roman candles,
Cheers to weird Roman baths
And severely queer Roman scandals
We're here, combattin' Vandals
Chatting in Latin, believe us
We'll knock you flat on your back and back to Romulus and Remus

So render unto Caesar
Render unto Caesar
Jeez, Louisa
Render unto Orange Julius
The original orange leader

Roman Roman Roman
Though the age is Golden
Keep them goddies Roman
You guys!
You guys! You guys!
You guys!

On lakeshores in tunics
Let's make wars with Punics
And take scores of eunuchs
As our prize

Cry "Hear ye's" with fervor
For Ceres and Minerva
My dearies, you deserve a change
From wimpy Olympians
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?
Are you not entertained?


Based on "Rawhide" by Ned Washington and Dimitri Tiomkin
Lily Carlson - additional vocals
Lauren London - additional vocals
Scarlett London - additional vocals
Erika Sauld - additional vocals

Copyright 2018 Zach London

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A couple lifetimes ago, you were my Siamese Twin, maybe
Come in, meet my partner and
And the three-legged dog we took in
Rub him on the belly
Who's a silly puppy?
You are! Yes, you are!
And now it's time we glorified
The glorious age that we live in

Bring your crowd
And sing your loudest thing in revelry
Take your crew of besties to the
All-Friends Jamboree
All-Friends Jamboree

My bliss antenna is erupting with voltaic fun
Crackle in the air around
The Theremin I wear around my neck
We've got no henna
Just a drum machine circle for everyone
Everyone

Bring your crowd
And sing your loudest thing in revelry
Take your crew of besties to the
All-Friends Jamboree
Bring your crowd
And sing your loudest thing in revelry
Take your crew of besties to the
All-Friends Jamboree
All-Friends Jamboree

Bring your sine waves
Bring your square waves
Ring out kind waves
Through the airwaves
Sing on highways
Sing on stairways
Those who care will be
At the All-Friends Jamboree
All-Friends Jamboree


Lauren London - lead vocals

Copyright 2018 Zach London

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