A High Pranking Official

Dear Friends,

The Hard Taco song for April is called, "Lifelong Memories." It's certainly true that both songs and smells can bring back childhood memories. Now let's see if a song about memory can bring back childhood smells.

Hey, Reader. Did you hear that they changed the calendar so that today is March 32nd? I'm not kidding. I swear on cemetery-full of dead relatives that I'm telling the truth!

Not.

Oh, Reader, you're such a gullible dope. We're all pointing at you because you fell for the oldest prank in the proverbial eBook. You've got so much egg on your face, guests have started asking the chef at the omelet bar if they could get theirs with a human nose, too.

It's actually April 1st on the Gregorian calendar, and that means you have the opportunity to pay it forward. Here are the 15 freshest japes to try out on your naive friends and co-workers before midnight.

ONE
Hide a baby monitor in crawlspace above the ceiling and transmit recordings of medieval battle through it.

TWO
Gradually replace all the framed family photos in the house with pictures of Laura Bush.

Read more

Download Song

I’ve got the fattest hands
Call Guinness
Call Guinness
It’s record time

I’ve got the baddest band
Call Guinness
Call Guinness
It’s record time

I knew a girl when I was back in the war
She had that vintage smell
What the hell was that for?
And you know, back then
Everything went according to plan
And you know, back then
I had the most checkered past
Will the record last
And if no,
I better set it again

I’ve got the bleakest grin
Call Guinness
Call Guinness
It’s record time

I’ve got the weakest chin
Call Guinness
Call Guinness
It’s record time

I knew the girl was hot stuff with an axe
She only turned heads
When she was breaking necks
And you know, back then
I had the most checkered past
Will the record last
I don’t know
I better set it again


Matt Cameron - additional vocals


Copyright 2016 Zach London

All songs written and performed by Zach London unless otherwise indicated.

All songs written and performed by Zach London unless otherwise indicated.

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