Happy Wedding Molly and Paul

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HAPPY WEDDING MOLLY AND PAUL


So Molly got married to a guy I never met
In the wedding of the century that none shall soon forget
But I missed it for another one,
A move I now regret
Cause compared to your wedding
Jims was worthless shit

So happy wedding
Molly and Paul
It's not just that we showed up late
We didn't come at all
But if you have another one
Don't hesitate to call
But don't do it too soon
I'm kind of busy still this fall

So here's to all the special things your marriage has in store
A life of joy, prosperity and silliness galore
And you will find each other cute for fifty years or more
Which, in my book, would qualify as being way hard core

So happy wedding
Molly and Paul
You made an awesome Sarah Connor
In our freshman hall
Even though your legs were broken
You used your arms to crawl
And killed that freaking terminator
Once and for all

So happy wedding
Molly and Paul
Your love is stronger still
Than that pathetic Chinese Wall
It's just as multilingual
And as fun than Montreal
And bigger than that stupid mountain
Somewhere in Nepal

So happy wedding
Molly and Paul
I'm sorry Ive been out of touch
I sort of dropped the ball
We might travel to Montana
Though the odds are somewhat small
So I wrote my number on the disc
In case you want to call



HAPPY WEDDING PARKIE AND JOE

So Parky got married
To a guy Id never met
In the wedding of the century
That none shall soon forget
And I missed it for some stupid test,
A move I now regret
I had to chew my fingers off
Cause I was so upset
I had to chew my fingers off
Cause I was so upset

So happy wedding
Parky and Joe
The fact we missed it
Tops the list of things that really blow
And it's not just that we came in late
We didn't even show
But if you have another one
I swear to God we'll go

So! So!
So happy wedding
Parky and Joe
Your love's a solid victory
For Cupids mighty bow
For it's stronger than a wildebeest
And sweet as cookie dough
And richer than a chocolate cake
Or even Ross Perot

So happy wedding
Parky and Joe
The next time we 're in Georgia
We'll swing by and say hello
First we'll tour the Jimmy Carter house
Then come and see your show
And visit the High Museum
Where they keep Whitney Houstons fro

So happy wedding
Parky and Joe
We haven't even see your face
Since five long years ago
Now we wish you all the happiness
That marriage can bestow
And we love you more than Jesus does
(It's true... he told me so)

Dup da dup da dah
Dup da dup da dah
Ole!


HAPPY WEDDING JOANNA AND ZACH

So Joanna got married
To a guy Id never met
In the wedding of the century
That none shall soon forget
And the sun came out on schedule
When we thought wed all be wet
And everyone who came said
You 're the cutest couple yet

So happy wedding
Joanna and Zach
I'm sorry we forgot your gift
I must have been on crack
But timeliness is sort of kind of
Something that I lack
So thankfully your registry
Was not completely sacked

So happy wedding
Joanna and Zach
Your love is stronger than an ox
And softer than a yak
And it's longer than an
Intercontinental railroad track
They should give you guys a trophy
Or at least some kind of plaque

So happy wedding
Joanna and Zach
I hope youve found a home
For all your wedding bric-a-brac
For us it took a couple years
To finally unpack
Weve still got things in bubble wrap
Weve never seen, in fact

So happy wedding
Joanna and Zach
I was hoping that this stupid song
Would help to win you back
I know its kind asinine
And probably won't do jack
But it's better to have your own wedding song than
Another set of silverware, a bundt pan, a cheese knife, a fondue set
Or spice rack.



HAPPY WEDDING ADRIENNE AND JON (Click here for video)

So Jon got married to a girl Id never met
In the wedding of the century that none will soon forget
And even though they know I don't perform they made me play a set
Which I assume the bride and groom will very soon regret
Which I assume the bride and groom will very soon regret

So happy wedding, Adrienne and Jon
Your nuptials have raised the bar for weddings from now on
If marriages were condiments then yours would be dijon
It's the most romantic thing since Princess Leia married Han

So here's to all the special things your marriage has in store
A life of joy, prosperity, and air guitars galore
And you will find each other cute for forty years or more
Which in my book would qualify as being way hard core
Which in my book would qualify as being way hard core

So happy wedding, Adrienne and Jon
This room is full of Methodists, who tend to be withdrawn
But the Patti Wagon driver told me he'd come back at dawn
And haul away your parents if they're passed out on the lawn

So happy wedding, Adrienne and Jon
Your kids may not be scrawny but at least they'll all be blonde
They'll inherit your tenacity, your sense right and wrong
And when they're born, they'll know the chords to every Zeppelin song

So happy wedding, Adrienne and Jon
Too cheap to get a wedding band, or have an open bar

So, so, so happy wedding, Adrienne and Jon
You've got the hot recording gear from 1991
And the bride is like a vision in her ivory chiffon
But I confess I only came to see Lake Wobegon


Copyright 2005, 2006, 2012 Zach London