There's nothing these 10 fingers cannot do
With sticky googly eyes and glitter glue
Cause these are precious moments through and through
I got poofy album
You and me, we scrapbooking
Acrylic stamps and ink and pinking shears
Preserve the very best of yesteryear
In page protectors that are hella clear
I got a poofy album
You and me we scrapbooking
I’ve been buying
Rubber cement by the liter
Since before they wrote the Bhagavad Gita
I’m the crown jewel of craft
Girl, you can call me Velveeta
I’m the boss of the keepsake milieu
So don’t cross me unless or until you
Get lost in the thrill
Of embossed twill
And fill a really frilly folio with memorabilia
Of your familia
Will ya commemorate ‘em through pics?
Put some new pics in a great collage
There’s a few tricks for a decoupage
Made of toothpicks set in Mod Podge
And my garage is chock-full of card stock
And it’s stocked full of art chalk
And it’s box after box full of glue sticks
Sing it with me if you dig the acoustics
There’s nothing these 10 fingers cannot do
With sticky googly eyes and glitter glue
Cause these are precious moments through and through
I got poofy album
You and me, we scrapbooking
Newspaper clippings from the day you born
Your ankle bracelet from the O.B. ward
A fragment of your umbilical cord
I gotta poofy album
You and me we scrapbooking
Cut and paste
Cut and paste
All day I cut and paste
Cut and paste
I do both with taste
I wrote a bad review for Elmer’s glue
Now Elmer hates my guts
You can’t trust that shit on doilies
Or even cheap Disney die cuts
Floral prints are so classy
Like coral chintz, so I’m amassing
A vast array of acid free
Pages filled to capacity
So tick tock
Off goes the smock
Tick tock
It’s sticker o’clock
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Stickers!
I got so many stickers it’ll give you sticker shock
Stickers!
Every vegetable, mineral and animal
Stickers!
Every moniker from Zachary to Annabel
Mushroom clouds in pastels, seashells, wedding bells
For your Armageddon-themed wedding on Sanibel
Got stickers for all the holidays-es
Thought bubbles fraught with thoughtful phrases
A happy tooth, saying “I got braces!”
Me and Michael’s and JoAnn’s on a first-name basis
There’s nothing these 10 fingers cannot do
With sticky googly eyes and glitter glue
Cause these are precious moments through and through
I got poofy album
You and me, we scrapbooking
A birth announcement from The Jewish News
A postcard from the grave of Langston Hughes
The theme is any random crap I choose
I gotta poofy album
You and me we scrapbooking
Went to Europe in your gap year?
Scrapbook it
Took the brewery tour for Pabst beer?
Scrapbook it
Had a reassuring Pap Smear?
Scrapbook it
Got some table scraps here?
Make a table scrap-booklet
A warm letter from your fella’s momma?
Scrapbook it
A form letter Michelle Obama?
Scrapbook it
A torn-up ticket from my high school drama
Scrapbookin’ll turn a common prom into a proper Prom-o-rama.
A lock of hair from your first barber cut?
Scrap it.
The score sheet from the Ann Arbor putt putt?
I’ve never been to Pearl Harbor but
I got an iron-on patch saying Pearl Harbor What What!
You need the right utensil
When you get sentimental
Just grab a colored pencil
Color that diploma stencil
We got that golden tassel
Your speech from your commencement
There’s no defense against
The stencil culture I’m dispensing
There’s nothing these 10 fingers cannot do
With sticky googly eyes and glitter glue
Cause these are precious moments through and through
I got poofy album
You and me, we scrapbooking
A photo of the Frodo cape I wore
For Trick-or-treating back in ‘94
I swear I scrapbooked this event before
But I got a poofy album
So you and me we scrapbooking
You and me we scrapbooking
You and me we scrapbooking
You and me we scrapbooking
I got a poofy album
You and me we scrapbooking
Lauren London - additional vocals
Copyright 2021 Zach London
