The Cross-Examination of the Bee

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Prosecutor:
Red leather, yellow lea…
Red leather, yell.. re…
Yo.
Mr. Bee

Bee:
That’s me

Prosecutor:
Hello, there.
Be a dear and help a fellow out and tell us if you’ve ever been to Delaware

Bee:
Sure, we’re there now

Prosecutor:
Sir, share now, if you will,
Did you kill an elephant

Bee:
A what

Prosecutor:
An elephant

Bee:
A what

Prosecutor:
An elephant when you were over there

Bee:
Over where

Prosecutor:
Dover, Delaware.
The law is firm
Elegant and firm
When you attack a pack of elephants
And whack a pachyderm
You are subject to subject to subject to a sentence> Defense Attorney:
I object!

Prosecutor
Commensurate with the deed and your repentance

Defense Attorney:
I don’t mean to be indelicate, Your Honor, but how the hell…

Judge:
Counsel, why are you yelling

Defense Attorney:
Sorry, how is this relevant You can't lead like that, can you

Judge:
Overruled. Continue.

Prosecutor:
So did you do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Did you did you do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Did you did you

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Did you did you do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
I’ve got to keep pressing unless you confess and say yes, so
Did you do it
D-did you d-do do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Oh. Hmm.
Very well, in that event
It's indelibly a felony that you killed this elephant
But more compelling than that is this development
In Dover, moreover
If you sell an elephant
And you’re overt or covert but you’re overheard
With your criminal element
You will be thrown in the pen
When
Then and there
If you touch a tusk, as such, or so much as sell a hair
Little black and yellow fellow there
You’ll get the chair
‘Cause poaching is a capital offense in Delaware
And we’re in Delaware

Jury:
As you’re well aware

Prosecutor:
Right.
So did you do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Did you did you do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Did you did you

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Did you did you do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
I’ve got to keep pressing unless you confess and say yes, so
Did you do it
D-did you d-do do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Mr. Bee

Bee:
No! Yes!

Prosecutor:
You are a bee, yes

Bee:
I guess

Prosecutor:
But is it true they call you El Capitan

Bee:
True, some do

Prosecutor:
Who

Bee:
I have a crew of scrappy, slaphappy men I call The Cavalry
Sometimes they call me El Capitan,
It’s a crappy analogy

Prosecutor:
Huh.
Well the victim had an allergy to bees, El Capitan
A disease, where he would sneeze and wheeze, El Capitan
This crew of yours, this Cavalry
Knew, of course, of this allergy
So you, of course, took measures to seize his EpiPen
An unhappy end for your victim, you tricked him and then
While he was anaphylaxing
Did you just relax in your beeswax
With your bees knees
Tell us, bee, why
Do you deny all of these facts, please

Bee:
Aw, Jeez

Prosecutor:
Aw, Smack!
Check it, Bee’s about to bumble
Here's the part where he cracks!
So did you do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Did you did you do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Did you did you

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
Did you did you do it

Bee:
No

Prosecutor:
I’ve got to keep pressing unless you confess and say yes
So did you do it

Bee:
Aw, screw it
Alright, I confess!

Prosecutor:
Boom!

Bee:
Damn right I did!

Defense attorney:
But he’s such a bright eyed kid!

Bee:
If it’s verboten and forbidden
To get rid of that hypocritical critter
Then consider me guilty, I did it,
I admit I’d do it again. What can I say I confess!

Judge:
Bailiff, take him away

Prosecutor:
Your Honor, the prosecution rests
So, sort of surprising because I had another verse planned. I was going to be like, you know, “Frankly, your lack of candor is getting up my dander, and…” Something like that. Yeah, but then he, he already confessed, so…

Judge:
He already confessed

Prosecutor:
Save it for next time, I guess.

Judge:
Yeah, use that line next time.


Lauren London - Bee
Malcolm London - Judge
Scarlett London - Defense Attorney

Copyright 2016 Zach London

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